I was at a friend's house yesterday. She was having a brunch for about 20 or so friends, and it was really a nice group of people. Wide range of ages and a good mixture of faiths. I love those types of settings where there are people from backgrounds that you don't normally associate with. Brings up a lot of stuff for me to look at and learn from.
There was a woman there that was having a good conversation about herself and what she does. She is a hands on healer among many different things. I do think that hands on touch helps with a lot of different things associated with your body. She was a little stuck on herself I thought, with the way she was talking. She had stated that she started advertising her gifts because she wanted to reach a larger audience for her talents. And that it was working and she was grateful to be giving herself the opportunity to reach a much larger section of the population. She forgot to mention that she was also making a lot more money. But that's besides the point.
I started to cringe at the statement that she could basically heal anyone of most any type of illness, including fibromyalgia, cancer and many others. I thought to myself, then there is going to be a great big conference with scientists and doctors to learn from her recent discoveries. And I want to attend. I really wanted to say to her that I could really use her help in curing my HIV, that nobody else has the ability to cure it, so if you can, great! However I did not believe she could cure my HIV and I chose not to explore this type of conversation with her during a party.
I felt like she was trying to validate herself by telling others how wonderful she was. I also felt like if that was what she needed to do in the moment, what the hell. It's not hurting me and maybe it was what she need to do in this moment. She did seem to be a woman who at some point in her life, had a strong connection with oneness. But then got to a place of separation again and she felt the need to be more connected with things of this world like money and recognition. Hey, I participate in this dimension, and like to have money while doing it. I also don't claim to have abilities not of this world or above the regular human capabilities, while making my money.
Somehow, it just struck me wrong. It took away the value of the struggle I put myself through each day. Recently I wrote about my struggles with taking my medications, and all that I go through in meeting my regimen of drugs each day sufficiently. It was like wow, I could really be wasting my time if this woman can cure cancer!
But, what I walked away with was the fact that I realized each of us is taking part in this realm and we all have our own experiences. If I really believe that this world is just the stepping stone to euphoria or heaven, what does it really matter that this woman is having this experience. Maybe I can learn something from this woman and let her be peacefully where she is NOW. And not allow myself to meet her with judgement, just because I see her in a place of lack (money and validation). Hell, I feel lack at times in many areas of my life, and I hope that I am not judged on a daily basis because of it!
So, in ending this segment of my HIV rants, I found a new teacher. And it feels like she can help with many areas that the body has issues with. Or at least make them somewhat better! These teachers are all around us, and offer many ways of expanding ourselves. And if we extend love without getting caught up in judgement, it will always be better for ourselves in the long run. Getting to that place of extending in the moment without attachments or judgement takes time and practice. But will ultimately be easier and more fullfilling in the end. It just take too much damn energy to judge all the time!
Peace!
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